It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
The Election year that is!
We have reached that magical season where the presidential candidates have stumped, raised money and debated each other to multiple orgasms, and now it’s the media’s turn to show us who we really have running for the White House. It is now time for the MEDIA FISH BOWL!
Over the next couple of months any minuscule piece of dirt the press can dredge up about the candidates will be fair game. This process is how we all learned that Bill Clinton liked the ladies and didn’t inhale while he attended Oxford and protested against the United States, and George DUHbya Asshole was a drunk nose candy sniffing, draft-dodging go AWOL from the national guard run three of daddy’s companies into the ground and pocket the cash kinda guy. Proof that even being a worthless scumbag doesn’t matter when your father has enough money and the right connections.
This election’s media fishbowl is well under way and so far the dirt has been particularly spicy, and if we’re lucky, damning enough to knock some knuckleheads out of the race.
Rudy Giuliani – Not only are we now finding out that this dirtbag really was not the hero of 9/11 we were all led to believe, but he used taxpayer funded New York City police as security and taxi service for the woman he was sleeping with behind his wife’s back, and whom now is his wife. His former police commissioner doesn’t smell too nice either.
Mitt Romney – Being a funny underwear wearing Mormon should be enough for people to realize this is the last asshole we want in the White House. But Mr. “Lets boot all these illegal aliens back across the border” it seems didn’t have any problem employing them to keep his lawn manicured. Stay tuned, I’m sure there’s more juicy tidbits in store for us to come.
Mike Huckabee – with Giuliani tanking in the polls this mild-mannered good ole boy baptist preacher man from Arkansas has been gaining popularity. Unfortunately if you’re female you may want to sit up and take notice right about now. When Huckabee served as governor of Arkansas he aggressively worked to get a convicted rapist named Wayne Dumond freed 25 years early from prison in 1999 despite former victims of this animal writing the governor begging him not to. Once this piece of garbage was freed he went on to allegedly rape two more women and was convicted of raping and murdering one of them. Huckabee’s rationalization? There was no reason to believe Dumond would commit other violent crimes upon his release from prison. Of course now Huckabee’s lying through his teeth insisting that he had no direct involvement despite copies of the letters he received are now freely available on the internet. Former aides who worked for Huckabee have also come forward to set the record straight.
The Media Fish Bowl will continue through the first part of the primary election process until most of the candidates drop out and we get a better picture of who is in for the long haul.
I can’t wait for the press to get to work on the Democrats!
